Update - Sunday Night edition

We're finally starting to thaw out a bit here in Calgary - but we've had a lot of freezing fog in the morning and certainly have had to scrape the car every morning. It makes for some very pretty frost on the trees.

Been knitting a lot this past week - but no spinning.

Finished up a pair of toe up after thought heel socks - ended up ripping out the cuff once they were finished and adding 6+ stripes per sock. Nice and tall now :)

The colour is more accurate in the previous post - the pink is much more vibrant.

I started another pair of toe up stripey socks - I bought this yarn in a destash from a friend. The information is on my Ravelry project page if you really must know more about the yarn. This yarn has only been in the stash for a few months - max

They're going slowly - my mindless get ready for bed socks.

I've also got a pair of Charade socks on the needles in Dancing Dog Dyeworks yarn on the Jive base - the main colour is Owlies and the contrast solid is Beach Glass - this yarn has been in the stash for less than a year. I can't believe how colourful these are turning out. The photo is from earlier today - I'm now almost done the gusset - flying off the needles, free pattern. Probably the funniest gauge I've ever seen written in a pattern (Gauge: Meh.) You can see Zoie in a shoe box in the background - the girls love that box so much I've repaired it.

And in other news - my students wrote their midterm on Monday. Ellie helped me mark - she's good like that yo.

Doing the Signifi-dance

I am doing the signifi-dance - you know the dance you do when you realize that your results are statistically significant. It is like riverdance but better, it is like riverdance for academics! Yeah, one of my side projects that is going in my thesis just finished up and I ran the stats today - p = .054 baby! Well, I guess that the .004 means it isn't significant but with this topic I'll take whatever I can get.

Feeling Pissy & PhD News

So I'm sitting here at work on Good Friday wishing I was still at home sleeping. Normally I take the statutory holidays off, after all, graduate students are people too, but the mice have ordered my presence today and tomorrow. Perhaps even Easter Sunday but we are still in negotiations about that. Over the past month I've been meaning to post but couldn't think of something to say. My life is pretty monotonous and boring so I can't type more than a few sentences about that (unlike Amy Lane who seems to have quite an eventful life). I go to school, do research, go to classes and go home. At home I normally sleep, eat, knit (a little), watch TV, and look at things on the internet. I would be happy with this if the knitting were more frequent and the research was on a different topic. In books the heros always want exciting but not me, I am happy with not much interesting going on. To me interesting often ends up meaning stressful. And I am good with the current stress level (or lower not higher please). 

But I scanned through the blog and realized that I didn't share something very important... I have a PhD placement at the University of Calgary in the fall. In the fall I will be working with Dr. Penny Pexman. I think that I will study figurative language acquisition in children (aka sarcasm acquisition). I find this interesting because I don't get sarcasm in my everyday life. I have to think about it more than other people. I am very excited about my next thesis, a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel. 

But I still have a ways to go on the current project and a lot of things to do that I detest doing. When I think about my current project I get a lump in my throat (you know, like when you are about to cry but are trying not to) and feel sad/depressed. I won't quit and I won't do a half-assed job but damn it there are days I want to. There are days that I want to quit grad school and be a bum. Or play computer games all day. Or... sleep. But as a student in my lab tells me, this too will pass. 

I guess I'm feeling pissy today because it is the weekend and I am at work - I live for weekends. I know grad students who work on the weekends but I just tell myself to work hard during the week and take some time off. And I tell myself that by taking time off on the weekends I am more productive. 

Thesis-Related Epic Battle #1

The first thesis-related epic battle versus statistics is currently in progress. It started sometime around 8:30 am on Monday and has claimed 5-8 hours per day since then. Currently the student front (me) is suffering from headaches at the end of the daily skirmishes (lots of time in front of a computer screen) and sore wrists. The troops (me) are becoming increasingly distractible (Vanessa Farquharson made 366 eco-friendly changes last year and documented them on her website). The epic battle is slated to end sometime this afternoon or tomorrow after a short skirmish. I will update you with the casualties (number of pages written) when the battle has ended.

ETA: it is 3:15 and the battle has just finished. The casualty is 21 pages double spaced Times New Roman, 12 point font. 67 paragraphs containing 6,536 words! This is just the results section of my pilot data (experiment 1 of 3-4) for my Master's thesis. My wrists hurt.

SFN/Thesis/Knitting

So I said I'd post and lo and behold here I am posting. It has been a busy few weeks, especially in terms of school.

SFN
So overwhelming, lots of people and lots of information. The most informative day was likely the 2nd - when I went to a short course on behavioural testing of mice. It was good but so much information. We took one afternoon off and went to the zoo: the San Diego zoo is really cool and has a lot of great animals. I know I was the most excited though so the zoo would have been better with Cory there - he gets excited about the animals like me. I went shopping a bit but no yarn stores :(

Thesis work
The prosem really stressed me out but it is done and I am happy about that. Now to find my motivation and get in the lab and get work done. I'm finding it hard to get stuff done when I know that this is not what I want to be doing and I know that I don't like the work. I find it interesting but I would rather read about it than do it.

Potential supervisor
She was really receptive to the idea of me joining her lab and is accepting at least one student next fall, preferably psychology (she has dual appointment with linguistics and psychology so she can get students in either discipline). I'm going to talk to 1 or more other professors but so far she is my top choice.

Knitting
I finished one Christmas gift while in San Diego up to the blocking point and started on another project which I finished today. So I have gifts finished to the point of blocking and am awaiting the time when my spare room will be free from visitors. I will post pictures when they are blocked.

Now I am off to nurse a cold and look at things on the web. Pictures by the end of the week I hope

Partial Radio Silence

Hi y'all how have you been doing? Me, well I'm still a bit stressed but that is a normal state of affairs for me when things are due or things are up in the air. Both are the case right now so I'm not hugely surprised. I've had a paper to write that I feel is a big deal (proposing to my committee what I intend to do for my thesis) but some say it is just a formality... I'm off to a super big conference on Thursday afternoon until the following Friday (from the first to the ninth) and that is the reason for the partial radio silence. I don't know how much commenting/posting I will be doing or how much time I will spend with the wonder that is Ravelry. I know I don't post all that frequently but I do comment so I thought I'd give everyone a heads up. Oh and by big, I mean that the San Diego Conference Center website says that the event is for 32,000 people! I'm a bit nervous about being around so many people and breathing science for so many days without much respite. I'm going to the Society for Neuroscience (SFN) annual conference but I'm not presenting (if I was then I'd really be a nervous wreck right now). I'm also attending a short course on the Friday that relates to my thesis. But I suppose I won't be at the conference every day - I will need time to just unwind. After I get back I meet with a potential PhD supervisor on the Monday (the 12th) and have my proposal seminar on the Thursday (15th). That means that I have to prep my presentation while I am away. I think this may be the root of most of my anxiety... I just don't know how much time I will have for myself.

But in the mean time I present you with a Scheherazade gauge swatch:



And the Scarf for Ally which is the Christmas gift for my step-mother-in-law. A similar scarf will be made for my mother-in-law (in progress) and I will make Branching Out (from knitty) for my maternal-grandmother-in-law (aka: Cory's mother's mother)

In the wash, it looked so cool - like algae...


The scarf:


And a close up:


I reduced the size of these but I think they should be still sufficient resolution for the web.

Biting the Bullet

On the off chance that someone from my department reads this blog (unlikely) I had to stay quiet about something until after the 15th of October. Now that it is past, I can tell y'all something that has been weighing on my mind for awhile. I don't often write about my work because it generates a lot of strong feelings in a significant portion of the population. I do animal research and I dislike my work a lot. There, it is out. And now for the bigger news, after my master's thesis I will be transferring inot another lab here at the University of Calgary and will not be doing animal research. I will be transferring into the Cognition area of psychology as this is what I did in my undergraduate thesis and I really loved it. This has been a difficult decision to come to because I feel like I am abandoning or deserting my supervisor/lab mates etc. I'm not actually doing so but I feel like a part of me is giving up and I'm not one to quit things easily. But the fact of the matter is that I am still having serious issues with euthanizing the mice and it is getting worse. I totally see the place for this type of research, and I support it, but I just can't be the one to do it. I've talked to my supervisor and he is totally cool with my switching because I will finish my current work (how I could not I don't know - it would wreck my career and I've put so much effort and time into it that I want to finish). Richard is understanding and says he will promote me as a good student to whomever I apply to work with. That is the new area that I am nervous about, convincing a new supervisor to take me on as a student. Luckily things are in my favor but still it is like a job interview of sorts. I just wrote an email to my current top choice supervisor requesting a meeting. I'll let you know how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me though ok?

In other news, I am off of coffee (double espresso in the morning) for the most part and onto strong tea. Somehow it wakes me up more - maybe more caffeine? I don't know.

Knitting-wise I have started a new lace shawl - Schezerade by Melanie Gibbons. I was going to make lace shawls for my mom, Cory's mom, and Cory's step-mom but I've changed my mind. I'm not saying what my mom is going to get (you were going to get a lace shawl silly, of course I wouldn't make you feel like chopped liver!) but his mom and step-mom are getting lace scarfs (like the Scarf for Ally by Julie over at the Samurai Knitter) and dish cloths. The change came about because Cory's maternal grandmother has crocheted a Christmas stocking for me just like the one she made Cory and his brothers when they were little. So I'm going to make her a big lace shawl as a thank you for her thoughtful gift. I am really touched by her thoughtfulness and thus will be making her something that shows my thoughtfullness at its best: the most complicated type of knitting that I can do at the moment. I want to send it to her for Christmas. Thus, if I hadn't changed my Christmas presents plan I would need to knit 2 more large lace stoles/shawls by Christmas and that might not be possible... Especially because work is busy.

Okay, well I got some knitting in there. One day I will post about naturopathic medicine I think.

Progress

So I've started the MS3 - I only have pictures of my swatch (sorry, the floor is a mess and the lighting is poor right now...) but I am about half way into clue #2. Right now there have been 3 clues posted so I am behind, but around the middle of the pack in terms of where other people in the group are.



I am knitting in Jaggerspun Zephyr Ebony (one of the recomended colours). I had no laceweight in the pile that is supposedly my stash (it is small, other knitters smile and nod when I tell them the size of my stash - they know it will grow). Most of the yarn in my stash has a project attached, including the other Zephyr I bought (Crimson I think).

I finished the Hanging Garden Stole but have not blocked it yet - the blocking wires are on order from the LYS (they have to order some in).

Here is a cute kitty picture to distract you from the fact that there is no lace picture here...



I am trudging away at the cabled cardigan - I have put the fronts on the back and am knitting the collar (shawl collar - holy cow it takes time and yarn!). I hope I like it when it is done - still not sure if I will.

I'm pretty worn out from work. That is the trouble with making your own hours and having a "get sh*t done" job. I have a list of things to do and they need to get done in the next month or two. The problem is I always had something to do every week since before Christmas - I think I took 3 or 4 days off at Christmas. Other than that it has been a lot of work work work. I have a lot done - in fact I have more than half of the major experiment in my thesis done. But I am tired. Soooooo 4 day weekend - tomorrow is my Friday. Well sort of, I'm going to work a bit on Thursday but from home, and seeing as I have two cats and a husband at home right now - I'm not sure how much will get done. I will have a window by where I work though - this is an improvement on my office and lab which are both in the basement of a building.

Too much talking and not enough cute kitty pictures, here is another distracter picture... Zoie, it took me 10 pictures to get a good picture of her (and the lighting is off a bit) because she likes to move, unlike Ellie who seems to be the type of cat that loves having her picture taken.


Zoie likes being brushed so much that today after brushing her I found a bald spot, well a less hairy spot. Oh dear!

I am doing the gym thing too. I gained a lot of weight over the winter somehow (possibly related to depression and anti-depressant drugs). I've been exercising for over a month now but see no results. sigh. well, I'll keep with it and hopefully I'll see something. I have to change my eating patterns too but that is very difficult for me. Any recommendations? Any idea about a yarn reward system? My problem is I like food and I like sweets. Oh, and I have little self control.

My mom and dad are coming Thursday night for a few days - gotta clean house and tidy. It is the tidy that gets us. With 900 square feet to clean it isn't bad - it is the clutter and seeming inability to put stuff away that gets us messy. Perhaps I'll send a Salvation Army donation bag home with my mom (I don't know where to drop it off here in Calgary).

And on a final note, it was our 1 year anniversary on the 8th - here we are, it is my intention that we should have a picture of us as a couple every year on our anniversary - we'll see how long it lasts. This is a self portrait because we forgot to have one taken when we were at the restaurant.



ETA: Oh yeah, and I took a spinning class on Saturday at Make 1 Yarn Studio. I ended up with two drop spindles and a pound of fiber (half of which is already spun!). I am addicted. The spinning wheels didn't agree with me (the whole drafting while you spin didn't work) but hopefully in a few years the drop spindle practice will make me much better with that part. At that point I know I'll fall down the rabbit hole (and hard, of course the wheel I liked best was also the most expensive - or the one that I would have liked had the spinning wheels agreed with me). I will post pictures of my handspun after I have set the twist (likely will do that tomorrow so that I can show it off to my mom all finished and pretty). I want to keep a little bit as a reminder of my first handspun but with the rest I think I will make a scarf. Not sure of the pattern I want - something simple. The colour has a bit of varigation in it but not much. Not enough for another "my so called scarf"...

Booger-snot

Try saying that out loud - seriously it is kinda fun. But honestly, I think my amusement with the phrase may stem from the fact that my brain is pretty fried right now. My Easter weekend has been pretty crappy - Friday and Saturday I worked long hours on an essay, and I worked on said essay today too. But because I was stressing myself out I decided to stop working 'early' and just try to relax. I'm at 11 pages (11 good pages, I like what I have), the essay is on Down's syndrome, and I think the essay has to be 20 pages, or 30 - I'm not sure and will find that out tomorrow. I am hoping for 20... End of semester is always stressful for me. I didn't expect it to be this time around because I only have 2 classes but they are doozies. And one class I don't like so that makes it super difficult. What I really didn't count on was the massive amount of marking that occurs at the end of a class (didn't happen last semester because I TA a year long course) or the ability for all sorts of research to build up unexpectidly. What I want right now is a vacation and our honeymoon. Yes, Cory and I got married last summer and have not had a chance to go on a vacation together. Hopefully that will happen this summer. Actually, I could go for a weekend without work too but that won't be happening until April 27th... So what does that give me - 19 more days, 2.5 weeks... I'm gonna count the days, perhaps that will make it better/easier. In the mean time, I don't know when I'll next be able to post.

In knitting news, I have no pictures but will describe what I am doing.
1) TechnoBlah socks - samurai knitter yarn - very nice, haven't touched them in 2 weeks because of another project and the fact that the darn heels pissed me off. It is on the coffee table looking very colourful
2) silly cardigan - will work on it when I finish the other projects, or perhaps when I finish the first sock
3) Hanging garden stole, by Sivia Harding Knit Design (www.siviaharding.com - Vancouver based designer) in Lorna's lace, Helen's lace - Turquoise. This is my first big lace project and I'm really enjoying it. I may be addicted. Go look at the pattern, it isn't a hard one (pattern only on alternate rows) but it is enough to keep me interested. I am compulsively counting between stich markers to ensure that I don't forget yarn overs - which I do but I took a class on the stole so I got taught a neat cheat that can be done every now and then that isn't noticeable - or so they tell me.

Calgary weather is nuts again - the snow is almost gone (again). It was nice and sunny the week before last, then last weekend it snowed (and stayed for the week) and now it is finally above zero again (12 degrees celcius). It is supposed to stay on the plus side for the rest of the week but with Calgary you never know. I suppose I have to get used to this fluctuation because I'm here for another 4-5 years.

okay so that is all, I don't know when I'll next post but Happy Easter to y'all and I'll be in the comments for sure.

Where did the month go

Okay, so I realized by reading Coach's post that people actually read this thing. Not the people that I originally created it for to keep in touch with but people I like from the internet void. Strange really. So I've been knitting, and ripping because the heel on a sock is always too far out, and then I correct and re knit and then find that nope, I'm still f*(ked. But yeah. So I was not posting in part because I had nothing to show and in part because life has suddenly gotten very crazy. It is end of semester and everything is hitting the fan, including shit. I have a lot due, not a lot of time to do it. I'm having issues managing the stress and stuff and actually forgot, plain out forgot, to go to a class yesterday. Not good, not good. Especially seeing as there are only 4 of us in the class total. I really dislike that class though, but it is almost over. I am counting the days/weeks.

"I don't need sex, grad school fucks me every day..." Really enjoying that quote right now.

I've been going to a naturopath to try managing my depression that way, and it seems to be working. So long as I'm not doing school stuff (major stressor) I can function really well. I'm taking a crap load of vitamins though - I'll take a picture of them the next time I want to procrastinate... I just am having issues likeing what I'm doing right now. And seeing as I pay them to have me do most of it, and they pay me really well to do some of it (TA position) ... well I'm supposed to be liking this time in my life. I had a re-evaluation of what I want to do as a job after school (in like 4.5 years, ugh) and I think I want to stop most of the research part and concentrate on teaching at a small university. As it is, in 1.5 years I will be overeducated for teaching highschool - they won't hire me with a master's degree because they will need to pay me too much. Besides, teenagers are pricks and I couldn't deal with them like Amy Lane does. So small university or college, teaching biology/neuroscience/psychology. But it still means 4.5 years more of school.
I had some really good news the other day - I got a national scholarship - NSERC PGS-M - which means I won't be TAing next year (good because it will free up more time to get my degree completed, bad because I like teaching, good because it will be one less thing to juggle). It is a pretty prestigious award and I am proud of myself when I have time to think about it. Doesn't happen often right now.
I am alive and functioning right now - don't worry about me, perhaps send some good thoughts. I will be back with you within 2-3 weeks, if I'm not well - post on this entry to tell me to post. The comments are automatically forwarded to my inbox.

How I Spend my Days

So I write a lot of stuff but what do I spend my days doing? The side bar says that I'm a graduate student and it may say in what, I just changed it and can't remember. So what do I do? Well I'm a graduate student at the University of Calgary (Alberta Canada) in the behavioural psychology graduate program. My supervisor is Dr. Richard Dyck and my lab mates are many (not tons but more than some other labs). My lab has no windows as it is in a basement so there are days where I come when it is dark and leave when it is dark and never see the sun. Those are few - usually I have something to do elsewhere and manage to see some sun. But still, the majority of my day is spent without natural light. The funniest is when it is sunny out when I come and sunny when I leave but sometime in between it snowed 2 cm. At this point I go "Dude, when did it snow?" but yeah. The weather can change and I never know it unless it leaves a calling card behind.

My research involves the behavioural and functional recovery from lesions to the medial prefrontal cortex in mice. The clincher is that some of the lesions are related to stroke. On most days I like what I do but when I get bit, well those days I'm not so happy and have been known to call the mouse a little f@#$er after it has bitten me. I also regulairly get urinated and deficated on but I wash well. What keeps me going is that I feel that my research is going to be useful in the battle against strokes. I am developing a tool that will help others study stroke topics and they can help fix people. Some days it is hard because I've been working without a break but that is a price I am willing to pay. Today (Wednesday) is my weekend. I worked all last week and over the weekend. Friday through Monday I was up at 5 and at work by 6:15 (that is early - no one else was in my lab or other labs until about 8:30) and then Tuesday I taught at 8 so I was up at 6. I could sleep later but I take the bus and that doubles or triples my commute time (I am an overachiver - I set my own hours). Another thing that I really enjoy is being around people who are genuinely interested in my research (and I in theirs). I am surrounded by smart people. I enjoy teaching my stats lab but I know I could not handle teaching highschool (Amy Lane you are awesome for being able to do that). A fault that I have, a personal problem that I know I should change but it isn't at all on my list of things to change, is that stupid people bug me. I'm not talking about the mentally disabled, or the uneducated. There are people who are just stupid - it is a way of thinking that just drives me insane when I have to deal with them. However, stupid people on TV are sometimes okay. I can't stand The Trailer Park Boys, felt dumber after Dazed and Confused, but adore My Name Is Earl.

Early mornings

So today and the past two days and tomorrow I have to get up early. Like 5 am freakin early. And then I have to leave the house at approximately 537 to catch the bus so that I am at school before 7. As it turns out the bus gets me here for 615 with startling regularity. This is much faster than the bus I normally catch - most likely becase everyone else is still ASLEEP! But I'm not bitter... Oh who am I kidding, I am so bitter. This is for animal testing - I make mice swim these days. Don't feel bad for them, they actually like swimming. The buggers sometimes ignore the task and just float there. Almost as if they were a human just soaking up the sun in the carribean. Did I mention that it is pretty cold here? Well at least it is at 545 am - and it is super windy this week. So as a result it is 930 and I've been at work for over 3 hours. Now I have a break until 11am. I am having my first coffee (there was no time for american coffee this morning - i'd have to grind it and everything - and we are out of espresso) I had tea this morning. Nice I know but not enough caffeine.

I'll be back to post more in a bit - I'm off to figure out how to post links so that I can share my wierdness with you more effectively.

Tentative User

So we'll see how this goes and how long I actually stick with it. I hope that this will allow me to communicate with friends and family in other parts of the world on a more regular basis. I'm currently obsessed with several knitting webblogs and as soon as I figure out how to post links I will tell you them. I know I can share pictures with this thing so I will and I will also use it to direct you to the webpage with our wedding pictures. Again, when I figure out how to post links and also when I actually put the pictures up there.
In recent news, I have been extremely forgetful (had to think of the word for a sec! *laugh*) and am seriously wondering how I ever got through my undergrad (and got good grades) much less how I got into grad school. Seriously. Today graduate school consists of making mice swim and being pee-ed/poo-ed on by said mice (no harm to mice! please don't blast me for my job, if you do your comment will be deleted - now I know friends/family will not blast me but as this is an open blog, others could theoretically find it. If you are the one of the few people in the world who do not use animal products and yet use a computer and can see this post, well fine you have a valid arguement. But even then, I think there have been studies to ensure that computers do not emit harmful freqencies etc. so I doubt that anyone in the world with access to my blog has no contact daily with products that have been tested, at some point, on animals. I'm not saying it is right, I'm saying it is necessary. I will rant another day I suppose). Classes start on Monday and I TA labs starting the following week.
In terms of knitting, which is an obsession of mine now I have made the three gifts that I half-assedly planned for Christmas and they are ready to be sent. One is for my mother-in-law, one is for my step-mother-in-law and one is for a buddy of mine who is back in Kelowna (and two of her dolls). My boxing day shopping consisted of going to my new favorite LYS (local yarn store) and buying yarn. Oh what a blast, seriously. Other boxing day shopping is unrealistic in a city like Calgary. Heck, it is a pain in the arse in a place like Kelowna which has fewer people (and fewer stores too though, so perhaps it evens out a bit). I am currently knitting a charcol coloured cardigan for myself with my first ever cables. I have the back done, 2/3 of a sleeve and 2/3 of the left front.
Christmas was good. Strange not to be with my parents (first time ever) though. Jesse came, as did one of Cory's cousins, Jonathan, so we were not alone. Good food was eaten. OMgoodness! I got a little bit drunk for the first time ever, at 24 years of age it is about time eh? It was Christmas eve and I've now discovered that I like wine. I got a big bottle of Bailey's in my stocking (well it was in the fridge because I have the smallest stocking in the house exception: kitties stockings). I suppose Bailey's is okay, definately not on its own though (that is how the men of the house drank it that day).
New years was lame. We went to sleep around 1030... And yes, it was sleep not newly wed sex.
Anyhoo, enough blathering.

Catie