Friday, 19 October 2007

Biting the Bullet

On the off chance that someone from my department reads this blog (unlikely) I had to stay quiet about something until after the 15th of October. Now that it is past, I can tell y'all something that has been weighing on my mind for awhile. I don't often write about my work because it generates a lot of strong feelings in a significant portion of the population. I do animal research and I dislike my work a lot. There, it is out. And now for the bigger news, after my master's thesis I will be transferring inot another lab here at the University of Calgary and will not be doing animal research. I will be transferring into the Cognition area of psychology as this is what I did in my undergraduate thesis and I really loved it. This has been a difficult decision to come to because I feel like I am abandoning or deserting my supervisor/lab mates etc. I'm not actually doing so but I feel like a part of me is giving up and I'm not one to quit things easily. But the fact of the matter is that I am still having serious issues with euthanizing the mice and it is getting worse. I totally see the place for this type of research, and I support it, but I just can't be the one to do it. I've talked to my supervisor and he is totally cool with my switching because I will finish my current work (how I could not I don't know - it would wreck my career and I've put so much effort and time into it that I want to finish). Richard is understanding and says he will promote me as a good student to whomever I apply to work with. That is the new area that I am nervous about, convincing a new supervisor to take me on as a student. Luckily things are in my favor but still it is like a job interview of sorts. I just wrote an email to my current top choice supervisor requesting a meeting. I'll let you know how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for me though ok?

In other news, I am off of coffee (double espresso in the morning) for the most part and onto strong tea. Somehow it wakes me up more - maybe more caffeine? I don't know.

Knitting-wise I have started a new lace shawl - Schezerade by Melanie Gibbons. I was going to make lace shawls for my mom, Cory's mom, and Cory's step-mom but I've changed my mind. I'm not saying what my mom is going to get (you were going to get a lace shawl silly, of course I wouldn't make you feel like chopped liver!) but his mom and step-mom are getting lace scarfs (like the Scarf for Ally by Julie over at the Samurai Knitter) and dish cloths. The change came about because Cory's maternal grandmother has crocheted a Christmas stocking for me just like the one she made Cory and his brothers when they were little. So I'm going to make her a big lace shawl as a thank you for her thoughtful gift. I am really touched by her thoughtfulness and thus will be making her something that shows my thoughtfullness at its best: the most complicated type of knitting that I can do at the moment. I want to send it to her for Christmas. Thus, if I hadn't changed my Christmas presents plan I would need to knit 2 more large lace stoles/shawls by Christmas and that might not be possible... Especially because work is busy.

Okay, well I got some knitting in there. One day I will post about naturopathic medicine I think.


Maggie Tipping said...

That must have been a really hard decision to make. It seems like it was the right one for you though.

You may also be surprised to know that the darker your roast of coffee the less caffeine is in it. So a strong cup of tea has pretty close to the same amount of caffeine as a double espresso.

Louiz said...

Fingers crossed. And oh yeah (english tea drinker here) strong tea can have *more* caffeine than your regular coffee... not sure about espresso though.

Bells said...

I'm so pleased for you that you've made this step. If animal research isn't for you (and I suspect you're not alone!) then you need to get out. So well done.

I think tea is so much better for the morning. I never drink coffee before 10am. There is less caffeine in tea but I find it less of an assault on my senses than coffee.

Amy Lane said...

Wow--good for you. I can see how it would be hard to leave something you put so much time in--but I"m so glad you're going on to do something that will make you happier. You're far too young to commit to something that makes you miserable for too long a time!

Susan said...

Oo! Looking forward to the naturopath posting.

I totally understand and support your career decision. You absolutely must do what feels right, even (or especially!) if what you're doing doesn't feel wrong exactly, just not right. I am TOTALLY in that pair of shoes right now myself and you don't want to lose out on some of the best years of your life. Make the switch. Usually good and interesting things come of changes while nothing much comes of not changing.

Knitting plans sound great and ambitious. And just remember, your mom will love anything you make for her so don't add to your stress with your projects. It's supposed to help you UNwind. :o)