Friday, 12 January 2007

No one to talk to but you babe

So I'm at school checking my email and I get a message that my mom has flown to Italy today, last minute, because her uncle died last night. My bis-zio (great uncle) Ettore died last night. He had parkinson's disease and lukemia and was currently taking a round of chemotherapy. I would call Cory but he is not home. And I could talk with the people in the lab but all they will be is sympathetic. What I really want to do is talk with my mom or nonna. More my mom. I hope Nonna is okay, it was her little brother. Enrico died a few years ago too I think. So now it is just Nonna Lucia and Zia Lisa (bis zia but I always leave off the bis, the "great" part). I didn't know Ettore very well so what is really bothering me is that it reminds me even more than normal that Nonna is getting old - and fast. I will miss her very much when she dies. I suppose it will be a sort of relief for her. I think she is very lonely and in declining health. She still does a lot but gets tired much faster. And my uncles (the non-bis ones) are pains in the ass who do nothing but stress her out. I don't like them because of how they act and how they make her feel. It makes me mad. I still love them, after all they are family and you love family, but I don't like them. There is a fine line of a difference. A slight distinction that most people don't make. Can you love someone without liking them? It is not a grand love, it is more of an obligatory love, a compulsion that we must feel some sort of good feeling about a family member. I feel sad that I no longer like these relatives. I used to like them. Anyway, I must go now so ciao.

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