Monday, 17 December 2007
Practice
I finally started on my Strikke-along project. It is NHM #3 from Selbuvotter by Terri Shea. I knit quite a lot of it yesterday as you can see. Well you would be able to see if Blogger was behaving. I will try tomorrow, and you will see also how much I had to rip out. I call it practice (and a bit of colour work addiction). You see, I missed a whole chart (that had 5 rows and was small-ish) and while I was prepared to live with the uneven-ness of the fabric, missing a whole chart was too large of an error for me to accept. So I took pictures and ripped the sucker back to the ribbing. The second time around is going quite well, still uneven though I think it is less so then the first try. A problem that bugs me even more is the uneven stitches. I'm not quite sure what I am doing wrong but I have to go back every now and then with a needle and pull the stitches up so that there is a crisp boarder where it is needed. And some stitches are too large/small. But I will keep knitting this pair, and when I finish them I will likely start another. They are addicting, and living in a place like Calgary you can always use a couple pairs of mittens.
Thursday, 13 December 2007
And Now For Some Knitting
I've had these scarfs done for awhile now but not blocked. I completed most of the two scarfs while at the SFN conference - thank goodness that I could knit on the planes too. It made the actual travelling bit go by very fast. The hat was recently completed. This means that my final thing to do is ********** for my mom. I don't know that these will be sent in time to get to the recipients by Christmas but they WILL get them before the end of January.
The first is for my husband's Nana, she crocheted me a stocking for Christmas so this is my thank you to her
Branching Out Scarf from Knitty
Rowan Kidsilk Haze
This one if for my mother-in-law
Razor Lace Scarf from 101 One Skein Projects
Rowan Kidsilk Haze
And this is a hat for my husband (we are big Firefly/Joss Whedon fans). I don't do stealth knitting so he has tried it on etc.
modified Jayne Cobb hat
Lamb's Pride Worsted (held double)
The first is for my husband's Nana, she crocheted me a stocking for Christmas so this is my thank you to her
Branching Out Scarf from Knitty
Rowan Kidsilk Haze
This one if for my mother-in-law
Razor Lace Scarf from 101 One Skein Projects
Rowan Kidsilk Haze
And this is a hat for my husband (we are big Firefly/Joss Whedon fans). I don't do stealth knitting so he has tried it on etc.
modified Jayne Cobb hat
Lamb's Pride Worsted (held double)
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
But is it Scientific?
No. The study of psychotherapy, paranormal events, and spirituality - to date - are not scientific. By its very definition science is repeatable objective observation of a phenomenon. And those topics do not easily lend themselves to an objective study. The nature of these topics there is some undefineable quality, something we know is there but cannot measure. Does that mean that they are less valid or true - nope. But in our current culture it seems that we value science over just about everything else. And unfortunately in my area of work and study, if I don't order my values this way I tend to be thought of as someone who is in the wrong field. One of the professors even said that yesterday at the talk - the presenter had people who believed in a higher power or something bigger than themselves to put up there hand, and some of us (me included) did. And the prof essentially said that although our beliefs were up to us, we should think hard about whether we were in the right field. I know I am where I need to be - perhaps not the right area of research, thus I am switching, but in academia. I feel a sort of calling - I am good at what I do and when I'm in the right lab I feel really passionate about what I do. When teaching I get a sort of excitement that I don't get from other work interactions. So the professor is wrong - I am in the right field and these beliefs can co-exist if we want them to.
I hope this makes sense because I am quite tired. I didn't sleep very well or solidly last night. But now I am going to a PhD thesis defense that could last 2 hours. I am glad - my job is to sit and listen and show my support of the student (who is a friend/acquaintance).
I hope this makes sense because I am quite tired. I didn't sleep very well or solidly last night. But now I am going to a PhD thesis defense that could last 2 hours. I am glad - my job is to sit and listen and show my support of the student (who is a friend/acquaintance).
Tuesday, 11 December 2007
The Gift of Physics
I'm going to go a bit philosophical now, just to warn you.
Today I heard a very brave and smart man speak about spirituality to a group of neuroscientists. We invited him to speak, knowing that what he had to say would be difficult to accept, much less understand. He knew this too - we are a group of skeptics who have different beliefs - and this is why I call him brave (though you could see that he was nervous). He spoke of a mind and a soul where most in the room believe that the mind is just another word for brain and that human existance can be reduced to neural impulses in the brain. His arguements were interesting, if a bit poorly supported by our standards. I loved his lecture and I have never seen someone generate so much discussion even after he left the room. It was an automatic reaction by the majority of listeners to devalue what he had said and find the holes in his theories so that they could go on with their beliefs (there were some holes but perhaps they were not as critical as his general message of communciation). But the amazing thing is that it meshed perfectly with the book I am reading right now - and even more amazing - with the chapter I am reading. The book is Healing the Soul in the Age of the Brain: Why Medicine is Not Enough by Elio Frattaroli, M.D.
I bought the book out of an interest about why my current mode of depression treatment is working as well as a traditional antidepressant therapy (which I had been using for at least 8 years). What concerns me is not that I was treated with drugs but that I didn't even know that there were other options. These options were likely not presented to me because of a lack of research (as opposed to a lack of efficacy as I now see) which is another matter that pisses me off - that there is no funding for alternative treatments because there is no money in treating people with vitamin C - no patent is possible. But the book isn't what I expected - it is a lot about psychotherapy and Freudian techniques, which I am highly skeptical about. I am a hard core scientist - we are among the most skeptical people you will meet. But dispite feeling that I was reading mumbo jumbo I have continued reading the book - if only to force myself to see a different view (another supposed quality of the majority of scientists: an open mind - not that all of us have this quality...). But in reading the book I find that some parts are speaking to me about life and how we approach problems.
Frattaroli speaks about how "the end is in the beginning". By this he means, if I understand correctly, that what we see in the end depends on how we approach the problem. An example he uses that is outside of psychotherapy is a physics problem (the gift of physics to humanity). It is the phenomenon of light. Depending on how we choose to observe it, light can appear to be made of particles or it can appear to be made of waves. If we only studied light in one manner we would only see one quality of light - perhaps that it is made of waves. If having studied it this way we are presented with the opinion that light is made of particles we would then reject the opinion because of course light is not made of particles, it is made of waves and we know that. So by looking at neuron firing in the brain we see what we expect to see - that the brain is the foundation of conciousness and that there is no internal world - there is nothing that cannot be explained by neuronal firing. But what if the problem is that we are looking at the brain and seeing the light waves when there are also light particles in the brain? What if we see the physical part of existence and not the spiritual (not necessairly religious though) part of existence. If you think about it neuroscientists have not proven that the brain is all that there is, but they use the arguement that we can't see or measure spirtuality - there is no proof that it is there thus it isn't there. Well that is a false presumption if I ever heard one. And in the end we may not be able to measure it now but in the future we might. Before microscopes we didn't see cells - now no one doubts that cells exist.
I hope that I am more than neural firing in a highly evolved moist sack. And I am religious, so I feel that there is more. This can't be all that there is. But perhaps that is just the neural firings in my brain telling me that. This is another point that Frattaroli makes, and perhaps where I will end today with my psychological philosophical ramblings, if neuroscientists can dismiss religion as a shadow of neural firings, what is to say that science is not a shadow of neural firings. If we cannot trust the shadows of one, why should we trust the shadows of the other? I trust them both, I think. But what we need is communication between and within departments - more guest lectures - to open our minds. Just because what we research is easier to measure doesn't mean that the other research is not as good or worthless.
It is a hard position to be in. I am surrounded by people who were trying to be open to the presentation but who reacted at least a little defensively. And I feel torn between what I know and what I feel. What I have proof for and what I don't have proof for. You don't talk about God to the majority of neuroscientists - it is unscientific. So there is this dichotomy of what I show people at work everyday and what I generally keep to myself because I don't have explanations for the latter.
I liked the presentation and wanted to thank the guy personally but he left very quickly after the question period. After he spoke my brain was sore, the stretchings have given me a lot to think about. Any comments on todays post?
PS: I have been knitting I will tell you about it another time with pictures. But breifly, I have blocked the two scarfs for Christmas knitting. Knit a Calorimetry and a Palindrome hat and have started another Jayne Cobb hat for Cory because the last one is too big and so is going to a friend that has a larger head than Cory. I will write to you soon I hope.
Today I heard a very brave and smart man speak about spirituality to a group of neuroscientists. We invited him to speak, knowing that what he had to say would be difficult to accept, much less understand. He knew this too - we are a group of skeptics who have different beliefs - and this is why I call him brave (though you could see that he was nervous). He spoke of a mind and a soul where most in the room believe that the mind is just another word for brain and that human existance can be reduced to neural impulses in the brain. His arguements were interesting, if a bit poorly supported by our standards. I loved his lecture and I have never seen someone generate so much discussion even after he left the room. It was an automatic reaction by the majority of listeners to devalue what he had said and find the holes in his theories so that they could go on with their beliefs (there were some holes but perhaps they were not as critical as his general message of communciation). But the amazing thing is that it meshed perfectly with the book I am reading right now - and even more amazing - with the chapter I am reading. The book is Healing the Soul in the Age of the Brain: Why Medicine is Not Enough by Elio Frattaroli, M.D.
I bought the book out of an interest about why my current mode of depression treatment is working as well as a traditional antidepressant therapy (which I had been using for at least 8 years). What concerns me is not that I was treated with drugs but that I didn't even know that there were other options. These options were likely not presented to me because of a lack of research (as opposed to a lack of efficacy as I now see) which is another matter that pisses me off - that there is no funding for alternative treatments because there is no money in treating people with vitamin C - no patent is possible. But the book isn't what I expected - it is a lot about psychotherapy and Freudian techniques, which I am highly skeptical about. I am a hard core scientist - we are among the most skeptical people you will meet. But dispite feeling that I was reading mumbo jumbo I have continued reading the book - if only to force myself to see a different view (another supposed quality of the majority of scientists: an open mind - not that all of us have this quality...). But in reading the book I find that some parts are speaking to me about life and how we approach problems.
Frattaroli speaks about how "the end is in the beginning". By this he means, if I understand correctly, that what we see in the end depends on how we approach the problem. An example he uses that is outside of psychotherapy is a physics problem (the gift of physics to humanity). It is the phenomenon of light. Depending on how we choose to observe it, light can appear to be made of particles or it can appear to be made of waves. If we only studied light in one manner we would only see one quality of light - perhaps that it is made of waves. If having studied it this way we are presented with the opinion that light is made of particles we would then reject the opinion because of course light is not made of particles, it is made of waves and we know that. So by looking at neuron firing in the brain we see what we expect to see - that the brain is the foundation of conciousness and that there is no internal world - there is nothing that cannot be explained by neuronal firing. But what if the problem is that we are looking at the brain and seeing the light waves when there are also light particles in the brain? What if we see the physical part of existence and not the spiritual (not necessairly religious though) part of existence. If you think about it neuroscientists have not proven that the brain is all that there is, but they use the arguement that we can't see or measure spirtuality - there is no proof that it is there thus it isn't there. Well that is a false presumption if I ever heard one. And in the end we may not be able to measure it now but in the future we might. Before microscopes we didn't see cells - now no one doubts that cells exist.
I hope that I am more than neural firing in a highly evolved moist sack. And I am religious, so I feel that there is more. This can't be all that there is. But perhaps that is just the neural firings in my brain telling me that. This is another point that Frattaroli makes, and perhaps where I will end today with my psychological philosophical ramblings, if neuroscientists can dismiss religion as a shadow of neural firings, what is to say that science is not a shadow of neural firings. If we cannot trust the shadows of one, why should we trust the shadows of the other? I trust them both, I think. But what we need is communication between and within departments - more guest lectures - to open our minds. Just because what we research is easier to measure doesn't mean that the other research is not as good or worthless.
It is a hard position to be in. I am surrounded by people who were trying to be open to the presentation but who reacted at least a little defensively. And I feel torn between what I know and what I feel. What I have proof for and what I don't have proof for. You don't talk about God to the majority of neuroscientists - it is unscientific. So there is this dichotomy of what I show people at work everyday and what I generally keep to myself because I don't have explanations for the latter.
I liked the presentation and wanted to thank the guy personally but he left very quickly after the question period. After he spoke my brain was sore, the stretchings have given me a lot to think about. Any comments on todays post?
PS: I have been knitting I will tell you about it another time with pictures. But breifly, I have blocked the two scarfs for Christmas knitting. Knit a Calorimetry and a Palindrome hat and have started another Jayne Cobb hat for Cory because the last one is too big and so is going to a friend that has a larger head than Cory. I will write to you soon I hope.
Monday, 19 November 2007
Celebration?
So my birthday is coming up, and to me it is a big one: I turn 25! I am happy about it, well as much as an adult gets about birthdays. I miss the excitement that I used to feel as a kid about Christmas and birthdays - but that is another post. This birthday is what some people call the champagne or golden birthday: I turn 25 years old on the 25th of November. I want to do something but I'm really not sure what. I just don't want another year to go by with me picking out my major gift from Cory and just celebrating with cake (though cake does go a long way to making a day special).
I do know that I would like it to be just Cory and me - I'm not close with anyone here in Calgary - well not close enough that I want to see them outside of work and work social events. We go out for dinner sometimes - enough that just going out for dinner will not seem special on its own. We don't like to drink or go to bars or play pool or anything...
And here is my appeal to the masses: does anyone have any ideas on what could be fun to mark the occasion? To make it special? Keep in mind that it is cold here right now: -7 Celcius (which my computer tells me is approximately 19 Farenheit) so it is a bit chilly for a picnic etc.
I do know that I would like it to be just Cory and me - I'm not close with anyone here in Calgary - well not close enough that I want to see them outside of work and work social events. We go out for dinner sometimes - enough that just going out for dinner will not seem special on its own. We don't like to drink or go to bars or play pool or anything...
And here is my appeal to the masses: does anyone have any ideas on what could be fun to mark the occasion? To make it special? Keep in mind that it is cold here right now: -7 Celcius (which my computer tells me is approximately 19 Farenheit) so it is a bit chilly for a picnic etc.
Sunday, 18 November 2007
SFN/Thesis/Knitting
So I said I'd post and lo and behold here I am posting. It has been a busy few weeks, especially in terms of school.
SFN
So overwhelming, lots of people and lots of information. The most informative day was likely the 2nd - when I went to a short course on behavioural testing of mice. It was good but so much information. We took one afternoon off and went to the zoo: the San Diego zoo is really cool and has a lot of great animals. I know I was the most excited though so the zoo would have been better with Cory there - he gets excited about the animals like me. I went shopping a bit but no yarn stores :(
Thesis work
The prosem really stressed me out but it is done and I am happy about that. Now to find my motivation and get in the lab and get work done. I'm finding it hard to get stuff done when I know that this is not what I want to be doing and I know that I don't like the work. I find it interesting but I would rather read about it than do it.
Potential supervisor
She was really receptive to the idea of me joining her lab and is accepting at least one student next fall, preferably psychology (she has dual appointment with linguistics and psychology so she can get students in either discipline). I'm going to talk to 1 or more other professors but so far she is my top choice.
Knitting
I finished one Christmas gift while in San Diego up to the blocking point and started on another project which I finished today. So I have gifts finished to the point of blocking and am awaiting the time when my spare room will be free from visitors. I will post pictures when they are blocked.
Now I am off to nurse a cold and look at things on the web. Pictures by the end of the week I hope
SFN
So overwhelming, lots of people and lots of information. The most informative day was likely the 2nd - when I went to a short course on behavioural testing of mice. It was good but so much information. We took one afternoon off and went to the zoo: the San Diego zoo is really cool and has a lot of great animals. I know I was the most excited though so the zoo would have been better with Cory there - he gets excited about the animals like me. I went shopping a bit but no yarn stores :(
Thesis work
The prosem really stressed me out but it is done and I am happy about that. Now to find my motivation and get in the lab and get work done. I'm finding it hard to get stuff done when I know that this is not what I want to be doing and I know that I don't like the work. I find it interesting but I would rather read about it than do it.
Potential supervisor
She was really receptive to the idea of me joining her lab and is accepting at least one student next fall, preferably psychology (she has dual appointment with linguistics and psychology so she can get students in either discipline). I'm going to talk to 1 or more other professors but so far she is my top choice.
Knitting
I finished one Christmas gift while in San Diego up to the blocking point and started on another project which I finished today. So I have gifts finished to the point of blocking and am awaiting the time when my spare room will be free from visitors. I will post pictures when they are blocked.
Now I am off to nurse a cold and look at things on the web. Pictures by the end of the week I hope
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Meme
1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
I didn't laugh last night as I was too stressed about a presentation I had today. It went well but I was quite stressed. Dr. Teskey made me laugh during my presentation today at around 10:10ish. That is the closest thing I got.
2.What were you doing at 0800?
Getting ready for school and doing a run through of my presentation.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Napping, just a short one - 15 minutes long - does that even count?
4. What happened to you in 2006?
I graduated with my B.Sc. in Psychology with a concentration in Biology, got married, moved to Calgary, and started my master's thesis at the University of Calgary
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Who won?" Cory and his brother were playing a game of chess
6. How many beverages did you have today?
I drank a lot of water, a little tea, and an egg nog with bailey's
7. What color is your hairbrush?
Black
8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Groceries
9. Where were you last night?
I TA-ed up in Red Deer (1.5 hrs away from home, but good pay for the amount of work I have to do), prepped for my presentation, had dinner at Moxie's - In bed by 10 at the latest
10 What color is your front door?
I live in a condo - our doors are beige
11. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet, in the car, and in a piggy bank
12.What’s the weather like today?
I work in a basement so I'm not too sure of all of the weather we have (Calgary is notorious for fast weather changes) but I think the majority was sunny with blue skys, and a bit of a nip in the air
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
cookie dough
14. What excites you?
Yarn, seeing family, Cory...
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Not at the moment, the last hair cut was at least 3 inches shorter than I told the guy to cut, I am growing it out.
16. Are you over the age of 25? I
No I am not 25 yet, but I am close. My 25th birthday is on the 25th of this month!
17. Do you talk a lot?
Definately
18. There wasn't a question here
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yep, and he is pretty cool.
20. Do you make up your own words?
Yes, sometimes - not very often sadly
21. Are you a jealous person?
I don't think so.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Angela - we've been friends since grade 1, so I was 5 and she was 6.
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Krista - we met during undergrad and are friends still but I haven't seen her in awhile. That is what you get when you both move away.
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I think that is a person from my lab: Amy. Not many people call me on my cell phone.
25. What does the last text message you received say?
Again Amy - we were just at a conference together and had to coordinate things. Text was preferred as it was cheaper
26. Do you chew on your straw?
Not usually
27. Do you have curly hair?
No but I have had perms. My hair prefers to be straight
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
I'm in for the night. The next place will be work tomorrow morning.
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Well there is this one guy at work but I'm not going to post his name. My lab in general finds him irritating but I don't want to run the risk of posting something that I'll later regret.
30. What was the last thing you ate?
Chicken Ceasar Panni from Jugo Juice - or a crispy crunch, halloween size - not sure
31. Will you get married in the future?
I am married - it is great
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I don't think I've seen any new movies recently. I saw No Reservations on the plane but without audio as my headset was on the fritz - it looked good and I'll rent it. And I watched Serenity again - but that is always a good one. OOOO did you hear about the new show that Joss Whedon is writing? It is called the Dollhouse and I am so excited about it.
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I'm getting a teenage vibe off of this meme. I like my husband a lot and my two kitties.
36. Did you cry today?
No, but I did yesterday and the day before that - stupid stress response
37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I haven't done one of these in a long time and it seemed like a good idea. Plus it will mean that I will post about San Diego in another post and that will be good. More posts - yea
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
Honestly, I don't know 5 people who would want to do this survey, or who I think would want to do it. So if you are one of those people I don't know about, consider yourself tagged. Oh, and let me know you tagged yourself.
I will post about San Diego/SFN, my meeting with a potential supervisor, and knitting soon-ish. Perhaps you could look for another post by Sunday.
I didn't laugh last night as I was too stressed about a presentation I had today. It went well but I was quite stressed. Dr. Teskey made me laugh during my presentation today at around 10:10ish. That is the closest thing I got.
2.What were you doing at 0800?
Getting ready for school and doing a run through of my presentation.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Napping, just a short one - 15 minutes long - does that even count?
4. What happened to you in 2006?
I graduated with my B.Sc. in Psychology with a concentration in Biology, got married, moved to Calgary, and started my master's thesis at the University of Calgary
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Who won?" Cory and his brother were playing a game of chess
6. How many beverages did you have today?
I drank a lot of water, a little tea, and an egg nog with bailey's
7. What color is your hairbrush?
Black
8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Groceries
9. Where were you last night?
I TA-ed up in Red Deer (1.5 hrs away from home, but good pay for the amount of work I have to do), prepped for my presentation, had dinner at Moxie's - In bed by 10 at the latest
10 What color is your front door?
I live in a condo - our doors are beige
11. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet, in the car, and in a piggy bank
12.What’s the weather like today?
I work in a basement so I'm not too sure of all of the weather we have (Calgary is notorious for fast weather changes) but I think the majority was sunny with blue skys, and a bit of a nip in the air
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
cookie dough
14. What excites you?
Yarn, seeing family, Cory...
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Not at the moment, the last hair cut was at least 3 inches shorter than I told the guy to cut, I am growing it out.
16. Are you over the age of 25? I
No I am not 25 yet, but I am close. My 25th birthday is on the 25th of this month!
17. Do you talk a lot?
Definately
18. There wasn't a question here
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yep, and he is pretty cool.
20. Do you make up your own words?
Yes, sometimes - not very often sadly
21. Are you a jealous person?
I don't think so.
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Angela - we've been friends since grade 1, so I was 5 and she was 6.
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Krista - we met during undergrad and are friends still but I haven't seen her in awhile. That is what you get when you both move away.
24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I think that is a person from my lab: Amy. Not many people call me on my cell phone.
25. What does the last text message you received say?
Again Amy - we were just at a conference together and had to coordinate things. Text was preferred as it was cheaper
26. Do you chew on your straw?
Not usually
27. Do you have curly hair?
No but I have had perms. My hair prefers to be straight
28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
I'm in for the night. The next place will be work tomorrow morning.
29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Well there is this one guy at work but I'm not going to post his name. My lab in general finds him irritating but I don't want to run the risk of posting something that I'll later regret.
30. What was the last thing you ate?
Chicken Ceasar Panni from Jugo Juice - or a crispy crunch, halloween size - not sure
31. Will you get married in the future?
I am married - it is great
32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I don't think I've seen any new movies recently. I saw No Reservations on the plane but without audio as my headset was on the fritz - it looked good and I'll rent it. And I watched Serenity again - but that is always a good one. OOOO did you hear about the new show that Joss Whedon is writing? It is called the Dollhouse and I am so excited about it.
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
I'm getting a teenage vibe off of this meme. I like my husband a lot and my two kitties.
36. Did you cry today?
No, but I did yesterday and the day before that - stupid stress response
37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because I haven't done one of these in a long time and it seemed like a good idea. Plus it will mean that I will post about San Diego in another post and that will be good. More posts - yea
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
Honestly, I don't know 5 people who would want to do this survey, or who I think would want to do it. So if you are one of those people I don't know about, consider yourself tagged. Oh, and let me know you tagged yourself.
I will post about San Diego/SFN, my meeting with a potential supervisor, and knitting soon-ish. Perhaps you could look for another post by Sunday.
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